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Beautiful Monday

Posted on Jun 29th, 2009 by Sanieh : Lover of the Shakti Sanieh
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(Pic: This is from earlier today... with Coach Crystal (aka: the beautiful Nazi) after conquering the benchmark workout, "Angie" which consists of 100 pulls ups/100 push ups/ 100 sit ups/ 100 deep air squats...in that order, for time. Last time/the first time I did it, I was newer and I thought I was going to die...today, I meditated during the entire thing:)) Feeling strong, feeling strong indeed!

I'm feeling so good today. I've got SO much energy, knocking out my list of errands, feeling gratitude for SO many things... both delightful and even those that aren't so much.

Every 'thing' and every person has its role in my life... there are no exceptions.

Outside of the few main staples of commitments I had this weekend, I got to enjoy some time at Barton Springs which I am so loving! Soon (the end of Aug.) I will be moving to the "04" zip code after years of living north (even after moving away then returning) and I will be a bike ride from the springs... SO excited :)

I'm looking forward the rest of my evening, cranking out this newsletter, starting my "work week" tomorrow morning at Dharma Yoga, of course some personal practice time and then catching up with Leah for a movie after Yoga Vida 707 class Wed., then heading into a July 4th weekend with some family all followed by short and spontaneous trip to Dallas on Sunday. :))

Chris and I will be connecting this week I think to discuss possible dates for a very special yoga workshop that will be happening at the lovely Dharma Yoga soon... stay tuned :)

What else, what else?... getting very close to finalizing my first ever "SaniehYoga" logo with John... very excited... and he's been so helpful, user friendly and patient! Thanks, Johnny :X

BALI!!!!

...is official and all there is left to do is to be present until It's time to go on July 21st! Oh I am subbing a handful of nights and weekend classes the week prior to make up for my absence and will have that schedule (which is in addition to my existing public class schedule) in my newsletter that I am sending out, hopefully tonight. IF you want the scoop on the "play by play" of my yoga world, send me an email sanieh@saniehyoga.com with "newsletter" in the subject line and I'll add you :)

Reminder: Core Cultivaton Pre-Reg (required) is due next Tueday, July 7th!

lovelovelove,
Sanieh
www.saniehyoga.com
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New Journeys await us all..

Posted on Jun 24th, 2009 by Sanieh : Lover of the Shakti Sanieh
It's so warm outside, even at almost 10 pm at night time. I have found myself feeling a little tired due to dehydration and have started to remedy that with purchasing another SIGG bottle and have decided I'll get a third and carry two liters with me at all times. Water, it's incredible that keeping my body nourished in this way makes up for so much and the degree of which it keeps me feeling WELL is priceless. Especially in this Texas heat, I need to be better about this!

LOTS of exciting news and changes coming up this summer... I need to get on my newsletter and get it sent out by the 1st! Some I will have to save for a few months until things are solidified with my schedule and others, but the Core Cultivation Workshop in July is a go and I need to prepare to push the notice of the require pre registration since there is a minimum required for it to be held... so don't wait... ( http://saniehyoga.com/classes.htm )

Also, I mentioned this in a "tweet" on my twitter (twitter.com/saniehyoga)... if you are NEW to Dharma Yoga (very close to Yoga Yoga Northwest...it takes me 20 min at 715 am going WITH traffic to get there in the mornings coming from North... the secret is to take the 360 exit and stay on the access road that curves onto Mopac, rather than Mopac itself...then I'm On the access for an exit then merge and 45th is just a few miles away...even when it seems sticky, it moves quickly!) where I teach Tuesday/Thurs 8am and Friday 12noon, your first class is free and you also get a nice discount off of a 5 or 10 class pass. If you have a bit of a financial situation, talk with me about it and we will see what we can do. It's such a lovely lovely Zen space down near the drag and Wheatsville Co-Op... as is the much warmer studio space, if you like a heated experience, that is Yoga Vida 707 where I teach on Wed afternoon at 430... I'm so blessed to be surrounded by such lovely spaces to practice and explore...

I haven't said too much about it since it's not officially in stone until tomorrow (YAY!) but I'm planning to go to Bali in July to spend some time surfing and of course
"yoga-ing" on a Surf Goddess retreat :) I am in desperate need of a cultured, serene, water/ocean-based get away where I can completely I can un-plug, restore and renew. I'm excited but it hasn't become "real" just yet... but even a super long (longer than going to India!) flight to get me there is sounding really really nice... just UNPLUG, reading, writing, collecting myself, letting go, setting new intentions and along the way, immersing myself in a new and celebrated culture, meeting completely new people, and reconnecting with the ocean (and another part of the India Ocean:) and to finally surf again; and to do so a LOT!

With surfing, I think of her (Mother nature) like this...

She'll kick your ass. Seriously. She can hurt me and I know this. So I face her force with respect when I swim out using my strength of upper body, I sit and await her yawn as her pranic swell flow carries me with speed, I use all that I've cultivated with my own power chakra to press/float/fly from prone to squat... all on HER time... and then I rise and ride her in. And sometimes, her force and even her beauty are too much to take and like life, she'll clean everything out from under my feet, to humble me and I crash into her strength never knowing when, where, or how I'll fall, furthermore, when, where, or how I'll rise up again from what may seem like a massive power clean cycle... but she teaches me to surrender; to trust. I actually fantasize about drinking in the fear of HER; her power but perhaps it's, in part, the knowing, that she restores, cleanses, wipes away and renews me to the complete and whole woman I always was even before I ever stepped foot into the initiation that is to receive her.

With all of this I feel the challenge coming on; the other half; the "test" if you will. The nature of the Universe usually works in such a timely fashion in my world. I manifest something and the forces of Universal consciousness as a collective bring it to me and I'm so blessed not FOR this as much as for the RECOGNITION of the works of it all unfolding... YET never is it without a hearty dose of "let me make even your greatest desires challenging to receive...how deeply, Sanieh, can you become present, let go, surrender and trust...?"

I'm working on it...even now, in this precious very moment...

love and sweet dream,
Sanieh
www.saniehyoga.com
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Grateful.

Posted on Jun 15th, 2009 by Sanieh : Lover of the Shakti Sanieh
Big thanks to everyone who came out to support the big Sizzlin Summer Sampler event at Lululemon... 140 people came out in the heat (note to self-next time, 10am heat is still powerful-aim for earlier start time!) and gave it their all and every single person there experienced a new aspect of athleticism therefore everyone experiencing challenge in different areas per the individual. All of the events were scaled down a bit to best fit the community yet were still incredibly challenging! It was a fantastic and crowded time and I am SO grateful and PROUD to share that yoga had a super large collective representing! The 2 "sweatiest t-shirt" contest winners wre/are student friends of mine as well! YES! Congrats, guys!   Humble thanks to you all!

Also huge thanks and love to the participants of the summer Texas Yoga Retreat! We had a lovely time at Barsana Dham Hindu Temple on Saturday and the evening kirtan with my friend, Chris was so incredible and took a life of it's own! So sweet of everyone to share their devotion in the call and response experience!

What this weekend taught me:
*Teaching yoga to 140 people is only slightly different than teach to 30
*A day spent in the sun can nourish my soul in a way that lingers and lingers and lingers *Acknowledging someone Else's beautiful essence feels good in my own heart
*Awakening to the stirring of "something more" within myself lights my entire being
*The things I've judge myself on, I'd never think twice about in another. Its time I cut myself some slack.
*"Someone is waiting to receive your gifts"
*I am in control of what I chose to give free rent" to in the container that is my mind
*Never leave home without sun protection on my person-never know when the Texas rays will feel as though we are sitting on the equator.
*A perfect day comes in many, many forms.

All Love,
Sanieh
www.saniehyoga.com
www.twitter.com/saniehyoga
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Drum Roll Please...countdown is on

Posted on Jun 5th, 2009 by Sanieh : Lover of the Shakti Sanieh
Mail Mail Mail Mail
(4 Pics: It's been a HuGe blessing to have a 3 ft x 4 ft promotional pic of me hanging inside Lululemon on the big wall since the store opened late last year...and when I thought they couldn't out do it, they recently blew up another to pretty good size... this time of David, myself and Carey to promote this event... and hung all 3 OUTSIDE the window for passer-byers to see... very cool, especially in person :)   

Sunday, June 14th 10am
is the big "ROCK YOUR BODY, SHOCK YOUR BODY" event behind Lululemon on 6th and Lamar that I've been planning with Lululemon and 2 other Ambassador friends! GET THERE EARLY (for parking etc)

LULULEMON WILL BE GIVING AWAY 2 complimentary tops to some super sweaty participants in the SWEAT T-SHIRT CONTEST (and if you haven't heard, this is some kick a$$ clothing we are talking about!)

You'll get 20 minutes of Carey's rockin' cross fit, 20 minutes of me and you KNOW I'm gonna serve it to ya;), and 20 minutes of David with what's bound to be some kick butt cardio kick boxing... all back to back. Show us your cross athleticism and we will show you free clothes and free waterloo breakfast tacos with what's expected to be about 150 of Austin's finest and fittest community party people :)  

YOGA---I beg of you! Come out and support ME and THIS EVENT. YOU WILL LOVE IT! I KNOWKNOWKNOW Carey and David's people are going to come and they are sure to be LOUD so show one of your favorite yoga teachers (ummm, that would be muah) some love and support...! You can do ANYTHING for 20 minutes...(This is my own personal mantra and self campaign slogan... only I change it to "45 minutes"... true story-more on that later). Nothing to be scared of (now going to an actual Cross Fit class after you have been through their mandatory Elements sessions outside of community events where you learn the movements etc... now that's no joke but it can be done as I do it twice a week... secretly LOVING IT! *still having difficulty walking today due to tabata squatting, sore quad madness; but that's besides the point*) but this... you will be asking when the next event is! Cardio kick box... we ALL have to love some power behind a leg strike!   So write it down, bring a friend of 10 win your free Lulu digs and get your waterloo grub on, on Lululemon!    

Note: I have printed flyers for this that include Discounted private yoga and Transmission Yoga Programs session handouts there as well as a flyer for the newly scheduled :

CORE CULTIVATION, PART 3
WITH SANIEH
930-11:30 Saturday July 11
.
Write it DOWN!  It's going to be fierce and with CORE ON FIRE! :D

Where: Shirley McPhail School of Dance- 183 and Spicewood Springs Road-in the southwest corner of the shopping center
Investment: $30.00 PRE REGISTRATION REQUIRED by Tuesday July 7

In this 2 hour yoga class, we will warm the body and prepare to cultivate our core strength through different and innovative means encouraging us th ability to tap into the inner most layer of muscle required to invert and balance our bodies with strength, grace and ease. Bring a towel, your yoga mat, blocks if you have them and hydration! Come prepared, ready and wiling to work...this is NOT going to be your grandma's yoga class!

okay, I've got packing to do for my Venice Beach Weekend... See everyone in Class on Tuesday...

lovelovelove,
Sanieh
www.saniehyoga.com (revamp in progress...with some excellent stuff coming!!!)
www.twitter.com/saniehyoga (for your random 140 Character max Sanieh Yoga thoughts throughout the day...)
(still working on the facebook thing)
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Kerala on the mind

Posted on May 31st, 2009 by Sanieh : Lover of the Shakti Sanieh
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Two posts in 2 days... movin' on up! 

REMEMBER! NEW CLASS: I've ADDED FRIDAY 12-1:15pm STARTING THIS WEEK at Dharma Yoga on Guadalupe in addition to my already existing 8am Tues/Thurs classes... and the new location is BEAU-TI-FUL!

Saturday presented INDIA in my FACE over and over and over again it seemed... it was slightly unbelievable just how much and I couldn't help but stand in the wonder of the message or hint I was suppose to be taking from it...  

I was coming home from the Round Rock outlets Sunday evening driving up Parmer when I thought I saw a store called "Gandhi" something so I turned around to check it out. Ends up it's called "Ghandi Bazar" with all kinds of Indian imports from herbs and spices to Ayurvedic products of all sorts and much, much more. I actually found soaps and ointments and creams etc that I either used in Kerala or things that I  purchased at the Ayurvedic Pharmacy there. While the prices aren't *as* cheap as they are in India, they are still very inexpensive. Check it out! I thought for sure, Austin had to have an Indian import store... well I found it and it's doesn't disappoint!  

I believe I shared the story of the closing beach ceremony of the last day in India where Shiva has us hand out closed, rather "tired" looking, un-opened lotus flowers to everyone (if not, here goes again...:).  

I remember her words as she spoke about the path wearing us down at times. She went on to remind everyone that there will be those days where we will all look into the mirror and think to ourselves, "*I'M* a lotus flower? ME?" as we feel tired, busted, un-loved, beat up, used and broken down.

The answer to that is YES... No matter how you may look or feel on the outside or within.  

So we all have this tired looking long and skinny closed up un-identifiable lotus in "captivity" of dirty leaves as shes asked us to slowly start to carefully peel back the leaves and petals...  

I carried that story and reminder with me for a while and forgot about it. Saturday morning, Stephannie, who attended the experience with us, sent me the photo I took (with her camera) of my hand holding the magnificance that was this blossomed lotus flower just over the Indian sand beore I sent it off into the ocean with a prayer that warm Indian morning.

What I love about this photo is that its so symbolic capturing my inked reminder that it's all changing; nothing will stay the same; I'm not the thought or feelings as they are just visitors, like myself in this body. Nothing is permanent but impermanance and all that matters is this moment... right now... presense.  

How will I LIVE today?
How will I love TODAY?
How deeply will I learn to breathe and BE?
What will I do IN THIS MOMENT to leave kisses of the beauty held so deeply in my heart; the lotus flower within, on everything that crosses or walks beside my path?  

"Today there is no practice. No doing of practice. No moving, no breathing, and no doing of moving/breathing/ No distinctions or duality. Just breath moving through me. No struggle. No me. Only this one gift of breath, Taking flight."  

lovelovelove,
Sanieh
www.saniehyoga.com
www.twitter.com/saniehyoga
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Tagged with: kerala, India, Yoga

Friday

Posted on May 29th, 2009 by Sanieh : Lover of the Shakti Sanieh
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It's an interesting place to be, being a yoga teacher at times. I believe it's part of what we signed onto when we decided to teach, that we would put ourselves out there sharing intimate parts of our life experiences to make ourselves more touchable, real and authentic.  

In this gift, I have found that there are parts of my life that I have to hold close and keep for myself because so much is exposed; by choice; but there always has to be parts that we keep for our own knowing. I don't mean any tangible "thing" or experience necessarily although maybe; sometimes it's more about pulling our energies back in when it's potentially being compromised or abused...or simply when it's time appropriate for any other number of reasons.  

It's a juggle though sometimes because I cannot imagine doing what I do without exposing myself to a degree. While people only really know of us what we choose to share with them, To ME, it's the only way the "job" can be done. Although it's seldom, VERY seldom, I was once criticized after a workshop for sharing personal experiences of my life that seem to make a select few uncomfortable. What I have to say about that is this:  

Anyone can study or even memorize a book. Anyone can use the jargon and "play the part". That doesn't make it real though. Whatever "it" is. If going out there and sharing the only TRUE thing that we can share as teachers (teachers of *anything* since we are all teachers in one way or another) makes people feel uncomfortable then my suggestion to those people is to take a long hard look into the mirror. We can authentically teach only that which we have experienced ourselves...and even so we have to choose to teach it from the seat of truth. We cannot teach of a journey we have not travelled. The guru reveals itself to us all in many different ways and is seen through life experiences defined by much more than age, race, sex, or anything else.   On the other side of exposure, there are boundaries. If drawing boundaries makes people uncomfortable or upset, then the same goes... there's got to be balance and in balance exist boundaries.  

This is what I'm referring to when I talk about pulling the energy back in. On one hand, (for just a second albeit), I think to myself "but I'm suppose to give and be open and share the love etc"... but then I come to my senses and say "yes, of COURSE...AND not only do I need to replenish and restore my energies, I need to be aware of when to protect them when I feel as though lines are getting blurred, or space/time constraints maybe aren't being honored or unknowingly disrespected etc."   

I actually love to spend time in solitude for this reason. I have no problem being with myself but more so, it's a way for me to refuel and to check in with my own energy...that which began with myself and also the energy that I might have "collected" along the path that I need to drop off. There are probably a few things I enjoy doing with my time that most do not know about me because that's part of what I keep in for myself. I'm going to Venice Beach next weekend for this very reason... it will be the first time I've ever been there without my days being planned for a training or to assist a training. It's decompression and reconnection with source as *I* know it through nature, constant outdoor walking, swimming in the ocean and being in the heart beat of a community that I have no expectation of who has no expectation of me. Escapism? No. Rejuvenation and contemplation? Absolutely.   

Moving on...  

So here I sit Friday night... 9pm and what a productive days its been! 2 classes done with by 1030 am, drove to the shop and scheduled car repairs (sadly not until an opening was available JULY20th!!!), dropped off a few things for a few people, picked up a few things from a few people/places (gosh, sounds so shady and mysterious like some sort of drug exchange or something...HA!)...

...More like cookies, fresh basil and thyme, skin cream and "regular" non-yoga clothes on sale :) lunch at Galaxy Cafe (SO good!), yoga with my sweet teacher friend Andrew at the beautiful Yoga Vida 707 this afternoon, Lululemon drive by to see new promotional blow up pics they've put up in the window :)), then whole foods for dinner! Gosh, I'm exhausted just writing it all reliving it!  

What I *didn't* do that I intended on doing includes but is not limited to breaking down and getting a Costco card, hair trim, Lululemon return, (surely there's more...?)...  

Tomorrow night is ladies night out for something wild and crazy like a chick flick ;) I'm pleased to be a passenger on that ride... just awaiting the details :) Tomorrow morning might look like yoga, maybe a run on town lake and if I'm really feeling the gusto, maybe I'll attend the cross fit free community workout as well. We will see how (and when) I feel when I wake up!  

Bowing to the blessing of being...on this beautiful Austin evening
All Love,
Sanieh
http://www.saniehyoga.com/
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The long day is DONE.

Posted on May 20th, 2009 by Sanieh : Lover of the Shakti Sanieh
Okay already. O-KAY.

The last 7-10 days have been absolutely crazy in the world of what has seemed to be "the seventh ring of hell" (thanks for the expression, B!) that is my thinking mind.

I've come into intimate connection with areas in my life that need un-doing so that I can weave a new blanket so to speak.
"Everything must change" I kept saying to myself. "See all of these areas where I am moving from a place of expectation and doing/being/saying/living in a way that is inspired from all that I think is expected of me or all that I think people *think* I should be etc. (can you see where this could go...?) Come back to my own authenticity, my own heart."

This is was my day in a very tight nutshell...

*wake up late, feeling like, well, like hell.
*almost talk myself out of my commitment to attending Cross Fit today at 10 as part of my "transmission yoga" TM program sadhana (email me if you are curious...) but found my gusto, thank goodness
*240 lunges later (and them some...) I wobbled to teach a sweet class at 12 noon
*headed to meeting with Michelle for website offering revamp and get pinged... 15 min later, I'm in debt to Travis county $200 to which the super nice officer hands me the unattractive ticket as he suggests driver's safety saving me some money but costing me half a day in exchange.
*meet Michelle, who is the best sight of my entire day- to go over website stuff even though we both have computer issues
*meanwhile pending important and sensitive phone conversation with friend that's been lingering for a few days and that anticipation is building...
*meeting ends, phone conversation had... the day is looking up
*head to Yoga Vida 707 where my lululemon friends crash the party and surprise me with their presence and I get to meet more new people at this special new class
*I'm surprised with a beautiful orchid from Sweet Jeff who read my "15 years later" blog and wanted to acknowledge
*Surprised again with a note card from Lulu friends "Why Lululemon loves Sanieh" comments that bring tears that I fight back because there are new people in my class and I need not let my crazy out of the jar just yet ;)
*Class ends, we end standing, I break out in song that I can barely sing because it's been so damn long but I'm a sensitive love junky like that so it is what it is :)
*head to Lulu to get my run pants, see friends when another sweet man crosses my path and tells me "I just hit your car".

oh for F%&#$ sake!!!!!!

I swear to you I thought he/they were kidding. I think I sort of laughed even so. It's so perfect. Yes, I mean that. It's SO perfect...

"OKAY ALREADY. I'm LI-STEN-ING!!!!!!"

This is what I've come to.

Life speaks.

Our life speaks to us. It's not about the effing ticket or the perfectly happy driver side door I had or anything else... it's the big picture. I am a firm believer that we have nudges (how I was feeling pending important phone conversation), then we have little pushes ($200 ticket from a sweet, but not too sweet law authority), then an elbow into the jaw ("I'm so sorry for backing into your car"), and then there's a freaking BRICK that falls on the head... so at this point, I'm choosing to surrender and spare myself the brick to head. It's not about the car, the ticket, the conversation...

OF COURSE my car was hit. It's so whack and perfect at the same time.

What is life trying to tell you right now?
What are you resisting?
If you pray for patience, you're most likely going to find yourself in a traffic jam.
"Here ya go, here's your teacher", life says.

Through all of this... there are sprinkles of love and light. Seeing Michelle's face and acknowledging her hard work and time in this project of mine and seeing her eyes fill up having received my gratitude.

Feeling more connected to my friend after heart to heart conversation that could have gone in any direction.

A thoughtful offering Orchid from someone who cares.

A reminder of that I am loved by those who I have invested time and energy into , who have in return, invest time and energy into me.

It's not all car wrecks and tickets... but it takes car wrecks and tickets (and super sweet and kind people to serve me the information of them) to recognize how great I have it.

So here I am, undoing everything I've made it about in all of it's "effed-up-ness"... undoing the thread and coming back with needle and yarn of my own color choices in hand to sew a new sheath that most authentically represents the love and beauty, the light and liberation, and all of the glory that I dream of becoming...all that awaits the ascension to my highest potential...

Today, I bow to all of my teachers in their many forms.
LoveLoveLove,
sanieh
www.saniehyoga.com
www.twitter.com/saniehyoga
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Samadhi

Posted on May 19th, 2009 by Sanieh : Lover of the Shakti Sanieh
There WILL be noise...
There WILL be sweat...
We WILL collapse in the end of it all.

Yoga Trance Dance.
Friday Night.
Be There.

http://yogayoga.com/events#YogaTranceDancewithS

www.saniehyoga.com
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Mind Games

Posted on May 15th, 2009 by Sanieh : Lover of the Shakti Sanieh
I'm finding myself becoming attracted to activities that challenge my mind. In my personal experience, it's usually through the physical, that initiates a journey that I'm not mentally prepared for. Perspective; it's so interesting. I can "yoga" with the best of them yet I know extreme athletes that would consider that extreme *suffering* any way its sliced but could smoke me with their "discipline". It's all a discipline you see (thanks, Jeff!) ... this is where I'm headed with all of this. For me, however, it's all a discipline of yoga...though its many or shall I say *any* form.  

I recently shared the story in class about my new endeavor of running. I don't run far or fast (again perspective... about 3.2 miles in 36-37 min) but I'm not interested in much in this way beside eventually increasing the duration of the run (which ends of being distance etc) but more so, I'm interested in shifting the self talk and preconceived notions of belief and limiting barriers placed on and within myself.  

I shared the story of running at Town Lake and how I found myself wanting to stop. So I said to myself and to my friend out loud "not until I can determine what *part* of my body *needs* to stop, am I going to stop". That statement was never about the "no pain no gain" physical mentality, I'm a yogini for goodness sakes... which MEANS I AM about putting myself in a position of pain but in the respect of creating *mental* "pain" or discomfort in an effort to challenge myself and break through the samskaras, or habitual patterns of thoughts and beliefs that have made a home in my body and with the thinker.  

So I was running and scanned my body from head to toe, noticing my tiring legs, the pressure under my right rib cage, even the little twinge in my left shoulder but none of these things were impairing the run... so in that moment I said to myself "if I cannot determine what part of this body needs to stop and why, then I am going to keep on keepin' on because I know it's nothing more than the mind"... and I know the body will simply follow the mind.  

I've explored running a tiny tiny bit and that was 9 or 10 years ago. Recently, I ran farther than I had since then by using this self-prescribed method that actually came to me *during* a run. So as I enter into one of my own *Transmission Yoga Programs*, I am incorporating other areas of disciplines to deepen self study, meditation and one pointed attention thus tapping deeper into my creative juices of possibilites and the power Chakra, Manipura. Disciplines that to a degree seem impossible to me, unreasonable on many levels, make me uncomfortable and perhaps most important, those that scare me.  

Why would I do this? Because it's not just about the body.

Lets b honest...Do I want to look, feel and continue to BE healthy- absolultely. FULL HEALTH, is also that of the mind, heart and well-being though.

This is my reason for the run. Because it use to be so difficult for me to pick up these legs in THIS way and run. It's also the reason I do some cross fit (Big FREE event coming up June 14th at Lululemon with Crossfit, Yoga and Cardio Kickbox- total time is just 1 hour (20 min each- you can do ANYTHING for 20 minutes!) - please come out and have some fun and support this event I'm putting on with Lululemon!). I'm not interested in competing with anyone else, what I'm interested in is competing with the thinking part of my mind that has created illusions and limitations that ultimately do not serve any one of us. In those workouts of the day (WOD) that have me thinking "I can't do this", that I actually can and I don't give a damn if I finish last or where my numbers or time fall on that white board even, what I care about is putting myself in the position, having the *courage* to put myself in a position of walking into the proverbial fire of sorts and facing what I fear... and I fear it because of the self talk, the thinking and limiting mind, that convinces us at times that we don't have what it takes, that we're not good enough on whatever etc.    

If I was writing this post 10 years ago, it would have been very much so about all things external- I was training hard physically and trying to look the part and was even successful at it... but then I was broken down. Today, while I it does feel good to make it into that crazy twisted and inverted arm balance on my mat preparing for the next photo shoot, or complete that run at Town Lake knowing I wanted to stop mentally but did not, or having finished the 10 rounds/sets of kettle bell thrusters to burpee-box jumps for 10, 9, 8, 7,6, 5, 4, 3, 2, then 1 sets in under 21 minutes, it's just not about THAT to me. It's about taking one step closer into union with with my highest potential, practicing what I'm preaching with this way of life that IS *living* yoga and stepping right into self study in the form of fear, facing that very things I don't think I can do.  

It doesn't stop here. This is where what we call in yoga "practice", begins...  

all Love
Sanieh
www.saniehyoga.com
www.twitter.com/saniehyoga
(Facebook coming soon)
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15 Years Later...

Posted on May 13th, 2009 by Sanieh : Lover of the Shakti Sanieh
Momgrad

Pic- A face of grace. My mother on her high school graduation day. Beautiful indeed.  


It was 15 years ago today that a knock at my front door dissolved a family and forever change my life.  

"I'm afraid she didn't make it".  

In that moment and over the next few hours, I was witness to my oldest brother falling fetal position in the hallway, the anger on my younger brother's face, the confusion of my other brother as well as my own life threatening suffocation.  

Over the next few days, at 17 years young, I spent my time planning my mother's funeral service from start to finish; where I stood up and spoke the only way a traumatized daughter could, standing in front of a packed room full of people in their own grief. To say that I was lost would be an understatement. To say I was saddened would be delicate compared to what would leave me paralyzed, terrified, and eventually on a path of destruction over the next several years to come.  

In a single sentence, the only light I had ever known, along with my entire existence, felt completely extinguished.  

15 YEAR LATER

From a lost, smart mouthed teen, to a strong, independent, giving and loving woman living with purpose and making a difference...here I stand today...and I'm alright now.  

I have many, many testimonies to yoga; this is an example of how living, teaching, and being a student of yoga has literally saved my soul and my life.  

Dissolution, I'm learning, has been a struggling teacher to me for years and while it's taken some time, I understand this now. I understand how a young woman who died in her soul long ago, at 17 and alone, had to experience this part of the "sequence" in order to stand where I so gratefully, (and in my the fashion of my mother...) and gracefully stand today.  

I'm so thankful.  

Always a student.
Forever a daughter.  

"All that I am or hope to become, I owe to my angel mother." Abraham Lincoln

lovelovelove,
Sanieh
http://www.saniehyoga.com/
www.twitter.com/saniehyoga
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