ayurveda
October 2008 
Playing Posting Catch Up...
Sanieh
My life has been so experiential these last 30 days in particular. From Vipassana to seeing my grandparents and being face to face with death and dying and realizing yet again that all things are impermanent. Anicca. Changing. Then off to Austin for a day and a half with a full day of business meetings then a flight to the west coast for 15 days to spend some sacred time with my teacher.
Teacher training is always so much more than just teacher training. It's life changing, life enhancing and life enriching on many many levels. "What is the song that yoga wants to play through you?" seemed to be the theme right out of the gate.
We had a whole lot of asana first thing in the morning and many many hours of Tantric philosophy and time with Siva guru, professor Dr. Paul Ortega along with a lot of time with Ayurvedic practitioner and husband to Shiva, James Bailey who is like a rock star in his own right.
I continue to make peace with myself, my body, my life and more so... have generated more excitement about the beautiful existance that IS my life over these last 30 days. There was a time earlier this year that I found myself face down, ass up if you will, in a pool of darkness that had been brewing. Not until I sat in the fire of my own mess did I reach out to make changes of all that created my own suffering and instead reach out to the lover of all lovers that is Hridiya, my heart guru. The teacher of all teachers and the loudest voice of them all. My life seems in complete alignment with the pulsation that is the Universal plan and THAT feels so so good to me. Letting go, learning to not create so much resistance with what simply IS and to get out of my own way. This is yoga. This is some of the most beautiful yoga that exists.
I've twisted and tied up my body in many ways over the last several weeks and that has been nothing next to to release within. The peace and acceptance inside my heart. I believe that everything happens for a reason, no matter how cliche it may sound... this is my personal belief that I stand by. I have allowed myself to reach a point that has allowed me to understand that the events and people who have caused hurt in my life have been placed on my path for a reason that required hurt for learning and for growth. I am thankful to those people and the works of those events and can offer my thanks in that I know without them, I wouldn't be the same. I wouldn't trade even the hurt and tears because in the end, vulnerability is stength. Love is beautiful. Walking towards it all again is trust. My heart is so full and I feel so rich in my life right now and learning to live in the space of equanimity through it all. Beauty is so often surrounded by a ring out hell. Nataraja, the embodiment of Shiva dances within a ring of fire; so symbolic...
One of the things we did as a group while in Venice beach was go to the Self Realization Lake Shrine. Soooo beautiful. There is no talking once you enter as it's very meditative. I actually meditated at a memorial that included some of Gandhi's ashes... that was very powerful...
My teacher asks us to remember to see the teacher in all things, and in all people. I look around my world as I know it today and see the teacher in so much... yet there is always so much more work to be done in the area of growth. I believe the greatest teacher is the one who rests within pain and discomfort. I mentioned getting a speeding ticket driving to Austin. Well the day I arrived in LA and rented my car, 3 hours later I damaged said car. The next day, I got a 70 dollar parking ticket (if you go to LA or surrounding areas, be prepared!!!), shortly after that, I lost my cell phone and all of my contacts while in the middle of negotiating business deals! In that moment in particular, I tuned inward and said to myself that I would remain equanimous and that it could be a lot worse with acknowledgement that THIS was the time to "practice".
It was a gift to be able to take what I learned at Vipassana and incorporate it all at a time when I felt the lessons coming on thick! I believe it was the Universe laughing saying "ok, lets see if you can use these tools now...". In the end, I never found my phone, delt with a not so pleasent "customer service" rep with Verizon, had to pay full price for a phone to replace the lost one... but I managed to handle it with grace and for that, I am thankful and so appreciative for what I was able to incorporate into my experience without blowing a gasket which I might have done at another time in my life.
So here I am in beautiful Austin, TX with virgin eyes and much appreciation for the corner of the world that I get to share my space with. I have already reconnected with a few people and that will continue in time. As we change, so does our phone book so it's nice to connect with like-minded souls and to really see life through a filter of divinity and love rather than judgment and hate. Peace begins within, and in our own homes. Until we start here, we cannot expect or even hope for world peace on any level.
To igniting the flame within...
OM Shantih Shantih Shantih
Sanieh
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