So I voted this afternoon... for the first time (she says as she hides her face under her ball cap to avoid the boo-ing crowd...)... I was never too much into politics (still am not although much more so now...) until I was married to a man who was a staff Sgt. in the US Army and I lived through a year long "Operation Iraqi Freedom" deployment.  

"Iraqi freedom" &#&#%^%#%^#@&%!!!  Yeeeah.

I yawned my way through the long, but quickly moving line this afternoon then smiled the whole way through the voting process. Really, it's my duty as an American woman to make a vote, although I'm not sure "my" vote actually counts... I'm told that not often at all, with exception of the last presidential election, does the electoral collage vote not turn out the same result as the popular vote...which still confuses me... but I'm thinking it should be luck of the draw if you are running for office and were born in a big state. Call it Karma. Really though, it was a quick, but very proud moment for me.  

What was equally a proud moment was the fact that I took myself on a run this afternoon! You would have to know me well to know that I'm not... wait, watching the self talk.

I haven't "formally" run since either 2000 or 2001 when I trained for a 5k- just over 3 miles. WAAAAY before becoming a yogini Goddess and right before I was hitting it training ridiculously hard in the gym. I was amazed at that time just how much memory the body has and saw it each time I showed up to run. Today, I ran a mile without stopping and 1.7 total with a few walks after that first mile- Its not anything to write home about for many I'm sure but It was a proud moment for me :) Give me a marathon yoga vinyasa or 108 yoga mala on any day I'm I won't think twice about it... but running... that's another story. To my surprise (and hard work with watching the self talk!) I felt great and breathing was right on whereas before, I was panting, literally... compliments of yoga since the last time I ran. I really REALLY saw what proper and full breathing has done for me in this way.

While my calves are sore (I like that, I don't really have any ;) my feet are feeling fine...compliments of some damn fine running shoes I might add:) I am barefoot for a living so this summer I made myself purchase really great running (running shoes = comfort and light weight vs a heavier "cross trainer") shoes so that they could make sweet supportive love to my feet. The work is in actually making myself wear them rather than sandals or crocks ... or UGGS during winter :D  

Where was I? So I have this wild hair (in thought) about running lately... it's not entirely about the run itself though. It's sort has me thinking about the yoga of looking into the eyes of that which seems impossible... and in this case completely unreasonable. More on that later... still marinating.  

What else.... oh, the positive problem in the economy is that I just paid 20 dollars less to fill up my tank of fuel :)))))))) Bottom line was $29.44 Total to be exact.... glory days :D  

I've got a workshop I am teaching tomorrow morning that I need to finish preparing for... a dedicated group they are...those sweet spirits who come back time and time again all in the name of their strong core body :))  It's working though... I've been witness to some incredible increase in strength in myself and those who practice with me!

If you are local and you are reading this, perhaps you can share with me where one might park to go for a jog on the scenic town lake...I see people running and walking but I never can figure out where they started!

"Let your light shine. Be a source of strength and courage and share your wisdom. Radiate love." - Wilferd Peterson

Hearts,
Sanieh
www.saniehyoga.com

The time is 424am and I just sat down with my cup of hot ginger green tea after a seated meditation. I would love to share that it's every morning that I get up and sit at this hour but that's not the case. I actually went to bed a little late last night but the buzzing of my blackberry went off and woke me up.

Internal Dialog: I sat this morning with words from Eckhart Tolle (Thanks, Noelle) on my heart:  

"I am not my thoughts, emotions, sense perceptions, and experiences. I am not the content of my life. I am life. I am the space in which all things happen. I am consciousness. I am Now. I AM."

I found myself seated, lights out with a few candles lit just enough so that I could see my alter space that was in front of me, and with the meditative Nag Champa burning in the background. With mala beads in hand, I began with the Vedic chant that is the Gayatri mantra. The Upanishad text teach that within the essence of this single mantra exists the essence of all Vedic mantras. It's a petition to the Sun, symbolic to the light, or divine, or God, within. Within. At it's origin, it's chanted 3 times a day. I first learned this mantra a few years ago while in Venice Beach studying with my teacher at a big teacher training. I learned it by sitting early morning and chanting what is called a "mala" of 108 cycles. This is where mala beads come from... think rosary! After a few rounds, I felt like I needed to just sit and come back to Vipassana meditation or "Insight" meditation... seeing things as they really are and being in the seat of the observer of the sensations of the mind and body.

There is a term in Pali that I learned while spending 10 days in complete silence meditating for unreasonable hours on end (11 hours a day to be exact) while learning this tradition that is "Yitarbhutam"... seeing things as they really are, not as we wish they would be. Seemingly heavy, the beauty to this rests in the honesty of acknowledging the truth rather than being in denial. Don't we have to admit that there might be a problem before we can make positive changes? I found myself drifting into the rapid pace of the mind.

"Back to the breath" 

I would pull myself back in... I felt calm and peaceful and scanned my body for tension and soften my belly.

"So Hum, Hum So- I am That, That I am" ("That" being Truth, Consciousness, Shiva).

Consciousness, Truth, God(dess), Shiva. OM Namah Shivaya: Shiva is a part of the Hindu trinity that represents destruction but also recreation. Within Eastern thought and Tantric philosophy, we are not separate from Truth, divinity, God, the Universal. There is no such thing as duality. We are ONE. With 108 manifestations that represent Shiva, I am perhaps most connected to the energy that is Shiva Nataraja; cosmic dancer, or Lord of the Dance. When I read the quote from Eckhart Tolle, I kept thinking of the energy that "Shiva" represents. We have to melt away and dissolve and destroy before we can rebuild something new. According to Hindu mythology and as depicted in statues and images, Shiva Nataraja dances in a ring of fire. Underneath one foot, is what appears to be a person being stepped on, but this symbolized the ego. The object of the dance...dissolution of the ego, thus dissolution of suffering.

I drift again as I contemplate the bigger picture remembering words that I read last night in another blog where he shares about his prayers in asking for guidance and direction.

I feel the tears draw up like the pranic life-energy rising...

"Breathe. Soften. Listen."

With Consciousness and presence, I return bringing myself back in yet again.

Renunciation; We can't take it with us:

When I moved back to Austin in July of 2007 after detouring what almost turned into a move to L.A., I moved here with only what would fit in my car. When I was married, we shared a beautiful brand new 3 bedroom, 2 bath home and when I moved out, I took just a few pieces knowing that I would be moving into a Nashville apartment and in my heart, I knew I wouldn't be there long. I remember the day I sold my entire living room. The guy came in and took a look at the few pieces I opted to take from my marriage and said "I want it all. Everything." He meant just that. The TV, the small end table and even my alter.

MY ALTER?!

I gave him the table but lovingly shared that the contents were mine; personal possessions. Somewhere along the way, I became somewhat of a renunciate. If I accumulate too many things it creates tension. Even now, I'm twitching because I feel like I need to clean this small sacred space I call my home.

Don't get me wrong, I like nice things, but TRANSFORMATION has taught (and continues to teach...) me that while those "things" are nice, they satisfy me for just a brief moment in time because if we aren't right within and in our intentions and in our community making a difference, then none of that matters. It truly is stuff. I am in no way immune to joys of fabulous sheets on my incredibly comfy bed, or a nice jacket, or even the expensive designer yoga pants I might wear, but I understand that those are inauthentic joys and that their pleasures have absolutely no bearing on how I will sleep with myself at the end of the day having made healthy or unhealthy choices mentally, physically, spiritually or emotionally.

They carry zero weight in the category of true transformation and spiritual growth. I should add that while this is so, having the "attitude of gratitude" goes a long way. I am grateful for some many things in my life...

Gratitude:

On this morning I am thankful for the small things.

I am grateful for...

the thick, warm, red terrycloth robe I'm sitting in at this very moment

the fresh breeze that fills my apartment as well as the silence that offers the same
the gift that has me on this path of self study to begin with!

the plane ticket itinerary in front of me that represents my flight to California to see my father this coming weekend; I am so loved.

the gifts that the Universe has blessed my life with and the many more that I know await me that I don't even see coming

the ability to feel on all levels; I'm alive and with an incredible capacity to love.

the desire to be a part of something much larger than myself and for the gusto to keep my eye on that intention and opportunity

the community of like minded people who are all seekers of truth

"A Yogin is a Seeker of Truth":

I heard Goenka-ji describe a yogin (brief lesson: Yogi = male practitioner of yoga, Yogini= Female practitioner of yoga, Yogin= all us of :) as a "seeker of Truth" According to Pantanjali's  (a great philosopher and the grandfather of yoga said to have lived around 3 centuries before Christ) Yoga Sutras (one of the sacred texts of yogic studies with 196 "lessons" for the 8 limb path), the asanas or physical postures are not "the way"... they are simply a vehicle to purification of the body and citta (mind stuff) and internal disease.  One of the most discussed sutras is found in Chapter 1, v. 2: Yogas Citta Critti Nirodha: Yoga is mastery of the modifications of the mind or the resolution of agitations of the mind. 

Transformation-Transforming Addiction:

It seems that no matter what our path or desired outcome of transformation is, we start with our internal dialog, self talk, speech, way of thinking and living. We are ALL ADDICTED TO SOMETHING. We have all experienced unhealthy and unreasonable habitual patterns of self induced suffering be it substance abuse, emotional abuse, any number of things including but not limited to the abuse of our own neurotic thoughts. I certainly have and have to make the conscious decision every morning to choose my thoughts in such a way that serve not only myself but any and everyone who will cross the path alongside me today.

For me, it's owning that I have a choice. I have a choice on how I view myself, the True Self, the Atman; the Highest self and I have a choice in how I will treat myself today if its with dignity and respect in what I feed my body or what I feed my thoughts. I've been guilty countless times of building a mountain out of a molehill creating such suffering and self torture trying to control what is not within my power or denying what is completely within my own power and morning the loss of anything from my mother who I felt "left" when I needed her most having to teach myself how to become a woman, a wife, how to survive the dissolution of my marriage and even how to relate to women creating divine sisterhood and how to demand respect from men in my personal relationships...or the other extreme; the loss of my favorite earrings for example.

My addiction was always one of putting energy into that which didn''t serve me and anything BUT what I would spend my dying day thinking about and actually living.

Presence- The NOW:

If we can be in the moment, honestly be in THIS VERY MOMENT in the decisions and choices we make, we create incredible breathing space within our hearts and within our capacity to make a difference in our own lives so that we can be the example and help walk with those who are just coming into their "Buddha Nature"... the sanskrit verb within the word means to be AWAKE.

Lets awaken to our highest potential that is presence and consciousness acknowledging the divine nature, the Supreme, within us all.
 
I leave you with words of inspiration from Hopi Elders:

You have been telling the people that this is the Eleventh Hour.
Now you must go back and tell the people that this is The Hour.

        Here are the things that must be considered:

                Where are you living?
                What are you doing?
                What are your relationships?
                Are you in right relation?
                Where is your water?
                Know our garden.
                It is time to speak your Truth.
                Create your community.
                Be good to each other.
                And do not look outside yourself for the leader.

This could be a good time!

There is a river flowing now very fast.
It is so great and swift that there are those who will be afraid.
They will try to hold on to the shore.
They will feel like they are being torn apart, and they will suffer greatly.

Know the river has its destination.
The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off toward the middle of
the river,
keep our eyes open, and our heads above the water.

See who is there with you and celebrate.

At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally,   least of all
ourselves!
For the moment we do, our spiritual growth and journey comes to a halt.

The time of the lonely wolf is over.
Gather yourselves!

Banish the word struggle from your attitude and vocabulary.

All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration.

We are the ones we have been waiting for.

The Elders,
Oraibi, Arizona
Hopi Nation

In light and love, I humbly bow to the light and Truth seeker that is each and every waking one of you,
Sanieh
www.saniehyoga.com

.... this is the leak that was running like a sacred river from the sky all over my right shoulder last night while FLYING on an AIRPLANE (never a good sign!).... I was handed napkins to plug up the "condensation" after sitting in DFW  on said plane for 2 hours due to the airports being temporarily closed and bad weather conditions! Too Funny!

It's 530 in the morning and I'm already cracking up.... please, watch this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VGOO8ZhWFR4
(trying to embed video link but it's not working!)


More soon....
:x
sanieh

More wisdom from Lexi....

Key Words for November:
Expect the Unexpected!
Merge Wisdom and Innovation
Now is the Time for Change!

Reasons to uplift the Moon and Venus
Venus is the planet of love, balance and relationships.  The Moon is concerned with nurturing, security, the home and emotions.  For the beginning of the month, Venus is in Scorpio (ruled by Mars).  Both the Full and New Moon this month are in signs ruled by Mars (Aries and Scorpio).  Mars is  not considered a "friend" to Venus or to the Moon as its planetary energy can be quite opposite, hindering or even attacking to those of the Moon and Venus.  For the simple reason of helping to keep the Moon's and Venus' energy of love, acceptance and nurturing in focus is why these planets have been chosen to be uplifted.  As we are in a time of renewal, the energies these planets give so freely is what we will all need most and will support us as we delve deeply with the Scorpio/Mars energy present this month.
 
In addition to this, the Moon will be the only planet traveling outside of the Rahu-Ketu Kala Sarpa Yoga axis that is in place until the end of the year.  The Moon could use support as it will be literally traveling solo and will be considered an "unsupported Moon" for almost half of the month.  Be kind to yourself and seek out those you know will be supportive of you and of your emotions.
 
For more information on the very important Kala Sarpa Yoga energy that is in place until the end of the year, please see the October forecast: http://www.lexneon.com/html/MonthlyForecast.html
 
Planets in focus: Uranus and Saturn
Although Uranus is not traditionally used in Jyotisha (Vedic Astrology), it has significant importance this month and in the months ahead as it directly opposes Saturn on Tuesday, November 4th - Election Day.  The last time Saturn and Uranus opposed each other was from 1965-1967, during times of social and political unrest and revolution.  The other days Saturn and Uranus will be in direct opposition will be on: February 5, 2009 / September 15, 2009 / May 1, 2010 (although the planets will be traveling very close to each other for all of April 2010).  After that, they will be in opposition in June and July of 2032.  It is a rare and very volatile planetary connection that deserves attention this month.
 
Uranus is innovative, forward thinking, and unusual.  It is connected with upheaval and the unexpected.  It is concerned with humanitarian causes, equality of all, individuality and freedom.  It can be cold and detached as its main purpose is to further the cause.  It is connected to political revolutions; the planet was actually discovered during the time of the American and French Revolutions. 
 
Saturn is connected to what is old, tried and true.  It can be stubborn, restrictive, slow and depressive.  It is the "old establishment" as well as the wisdom of the elders.  It likes stability and plans, and prefers that we take things in a step by step manner - and usually, doesn't like it when we stray from the known path.  With effort, honor and patience, Saturn will help to manifest whatever goal is being put forth. 
When these two planets - and the candidates who perfectly represented them - "collided" as they did on Election Day, we know now that society voted for the Uranian candidate of ideals and the need for change, rather than sticking to the old Saturnian ways of governing.  It will be interesting to see how these planets play out in the coming months and years as we are on a path to major change and renewal.  Hopefully, a merger of the very important elements of each planet will occur so lasting and effective change can manifest.
 

Planetary movement for November 2008

Nov. 8:   Venus in Sagittarius
              Mars in Scorpio
Nov. 13:  Full Moon in 27°05 
              Aries (Krittika)
Nov. 16:  Sun in Scorpio
Nov. 20:  Mercury in Scorpio
Nov. 27:  New Moon in 11°23
              Scorpio (Anuradha)
            Uranus stations direct
 
 
***************************************

Remedies for the Moon

*Chant the Moon's mantra: Aum Som Somaya Namaha

*Wear the Moon's colors: white, pearl, silver, grey

*Eat Moon foods: coconut milk, rice, rice pudding, milk, water, tapioca (think white, nourishing)

*Wear the Moon's gems: pearls, moonstone, mother of pearl

*Do restorative yoga and asana to activate the water center.

*Gaze at the Moon or take a moon bath on the Full Moon.

*Call your Mother and tell her you love her or take her out to lunch!

*Doing these things on Monday is especially helpful as it is the Moon's day.  Doing these things (on any day) with the intention that the energy is to support the Moon is also important.
 
Remedies for Venus

*Chant the Venus' mantra: Aum Shum Shukraya Namaha

*Invoke Lakshmi: Aum Shri Lakshmiya Namaha

*Wear Venus' colors: all shades of pink

*Eat Venus foods: kidney beans, cashews, asparagus

*Wear Venus' gems: diamonds, clear and rose quartz

*Take your partner out and tell them you love them!

*Doing these things on Friday is especially helpful as it is Venus' day.  Doing these things (on any day) with the intention of supporting Venus is also good.
 
 
****************************************************
Chanting the Prayer to the 9 Planets in the morning is
an excellent way to align with all the planets:
Sun:  Aum Sum Suryaya Namaha
Moon:  Aum Som Somaya Namaha
Mars:  Aum Kum Kujaya Namaha
Mercury:  Aum Bum Budaya Namaha
Jupiter:  Aum Gum Guravay Namaha
Venus:  Aum Shum Shukraya Namaha
Saturn:  Aum Sham Shanaya Namaha
Rahu:  Aum Ram Rahuvay Namaha
Ketu:  Aum Kem Ketuvay Namaha

LLL.
Sanieh
www.saniehyoga.com

This past weekend was spent in Fresno with my father and step-mother. Through all of the madness turned chaos that has been woven throughout my life, there are equally just as many blessings of obvious beauty; my father is one of them.  

I didn't grow up living with him and physically, his presence was missed. The time I *did* have with him growing up (and even now because I don't see him nearly enough) however, was always filled with love. Over the last several years, since 2000 or 2001 in particular, I have grown closer with my Babajun (Farsi for father, endearingly so) and have also sought and found comfort of the presence he holds in my heart, the sweet middle eastern accent of his voice over the phone, and in his body shaking laughter. I've also learned that my father, quite possibly the only man ever to enter my life who openly and so lovingly honors and nurtures the sensitivity within me, has lived quite the charitable life... although admitting it would take him far beyond his modest comfort zone.  

Without getting into too much, there is a WORLD of my Iranian culture, roots, and bloodline that I know absolutely nothing about. The last year or so has really brought me into a space of yearning to explore this world of the unknown with my family, heritage, and even my father's homeland of Iran. For the last several years I have started (over and over again...) to write a book about my life (believe it or not there is a LOT I don't blog about in detail ;) but I think it's actually been narrowed down after this last weekend (more on that later...). A few things that I did learn included my Persian grandfather's name and that it translates as "Kindness of God" and also my brother's middle name, although I'm not certain of the translation yet. I learned that far before I was even born, my father was giving away love to perfect strangers in need including a family whose home he once went to to collect an insurance payment only to realize that they barely even had money to feed their kids never mind pay health insurance...he later went and bought those children Christmas gifts and brought them to their home. Another included a solider who he met on a plane who had no family or money and sent him off with $40 without batting an eye. This was years ago of course and there are countless other stories that bring tears to my eyes knowing that his blood runs through my veins. 

My father has made a lot of mistakes... just like anyone else... and some of those choices have undeniably changed the outcome of my life in an enormous way. In my eyes though, it's never been about my needing forgiveness of those choices he has made... The love I have for my father goes beyond any love I have ever known. While I don't understand the reasons for many of those choices and pray for their undoing before its too late, I have never looked at him in any other light less than that of beauty and pure love.  

While I was there with Babajun and the world's most incredible, loving and supportive step-mother who I'm crazy about, I was able to interview my father on video asking him a few questions about life. This was no easy task, he almost didn't do it... but for me, he did. One of the questions I asked him was "what is God to you?"  

His answer was nothing less than the divinity that IS him... and it went something like this:  

God is just a name. There are many names. If you go to church/temple etc or read the bible/koran/Gita etc, it doesn't make you a good person. Doing good things in the world makes you a good person. You do them because it's your duty and you do them because there is only that choice.  

While our native language of our Iranian roots is actually Farsi, he gave to me part of his "alter"; a plaque with beautiful Arabic writing that reads, "God is the greatest name".

Only in my adult years have I been able to be around his spiritual influence and that has only been through my digging and inquiry. A man without a judgmental bone in his body, he has always embraced other people's freedom of expression so long as it was without harm to others. While this has been his own belief system, I am most proud of him for staying true to that even though the world has not always embraced him in the same way.  

Shortly after the bombings of Sept.11 happened, Muslims started getting a very general classification as "terrorists" and developed a bad name at best. While my father's faith is not Muslim, his name and skin color provoked the ignorant into that assumption. Allow me to add that even if he WAS Muslim in faith, that would not make him or anyone else a terrorist by default. I remember living in Clarksville, TN just outside the gates of Ft. Campbell, KY, the world's largest air assault military division and home of the 101st Airborn Screaming Eagles. My then husband was in Iraq enduring sleepless night s (as I was...) while getting shot at and trying not to run over improvised explosive devises (IEDs) in his Humvee on the streets of Bhagdad. Back home, there was a group of "Christian" radicals holding signs outside of the military posts that read "God hates Soldiers", "God hates Fags" and "God is bringing your soldiers home in caskets because of the fags". Even CHILDREN held these signs and chanted at the passer-byers. Police were on guard waiting for a riot and kept the families picketing across the street.  

It's very difficult for me to even type those words with these hands and quite honestly, my breath has deepened and my heart rate has increased because of it. I share this story because it is so ridiculous, unreasonable and the farthest things from that of a spiritual nature yet sadly, it proves that any "practice", faith or religion can be skewed and be with radicals who have missed the message completely...and sometimes it happens in yoga as well...missing the message completely.  

Back to my father... Shortly after the events of Sept.11, he was driving and began experiencing conflict with another driver, a young man. At this time, his last name (an Iranian last name) was on his license plate and it was a given that this young man assumed by the name on the plate and my father's skin, that he was Muslim, therefore a terrorists like those who attacked the United States. That day, my father was almost killed while this young man continually tried to run him off the road. To make matters worse, Babajun later went by this man's home to speak with his parents (it was tracked by license plate) who ended up running him off premises of their property. There are more stories along the same lines, yet still... he gives, he loves, and he is without judgment of other's choices, orientation, faith, beliefs etc.  

When I look at the written words in Arabic (which is to be read from *right to left* by the way), I am reminded of my father's words, "God is just a name." One name. There are many names and many shapes and many colors on the path of connecting to Spirit and that of Spirituality. I am reminded that our actions in the world are what really difines our level of Spirituality and that our acceptance of other's means to such spirituality be it by name, faith, practice, or orientation on any level no matter how similiar or different it may be from our own, is really what "God, Light, Spirit, Goddess, Universe, Krishna, Allah, Abraham, Moses, Buddha, Zoroaster, Christ, Muhammad", etc looks like... in many forms... Acceptance of... 

Earlier in the week, I posed to one of my classes to look inward, deep into those places of judgment and conflict that originated from a single thought. Someone once told me that all wars of this world began with a single thought. Think about it... there was a FIRST thought that started the conflicts of the world, and the conflicts within our selves. May we open our eyes and soften our judgement and assumption within the confines of our mats, the parameters of our homes, and the boundaries of our own knowledge with deep understanding that "the finger that points at the moon is not the moon itself"... (the Buddha)... our perception is not reality or the world itself, it is simply our individual perception of how we view the world.  

"The Earth is but one country and mankind its citizens." ~Baha' 'u' lla'h

Mantoradustaram, Babajun.  
Sanieh
http://www.saniehyoga.com/    

Beauty is realizing that my 30s are starting to bring forth more compassion and kindness towards myself . Yesterday I was leisurely thinking about a choice I made recently that may or may not have been the best (still undetermined and will stay as such) yet the beauty to this is that I am not feeling the need to critique this particular choice so much as I might have before. I am reminded that it really is ok and things don't always have to be with so much depth... sometimes its better if it's not actually.  

I am a creature who loves and basks in growth and self improvement (= less self torture). I love everything about it, in particular, coming into my own as a woman who can be witness to my experiences rather than being the critic or judge of them. There is something very feminine to me about moving closer into such a place of equanimity (= confidence) and ownership of choices and being OK with resting in "it is what it is".  

The thread of the day brought me to sharing this poem in class:

Are You Looking For Me?

"Are you looking for me? I am in the next seat. My shoulder is against yours. You will not find me in the stupas, not in Indian shrine rooms, nor in synagogues, nor in cathedrals: not in masses nor in kirtans, not in legs winding around your own neck, nor in eating nothing but vegetables. When you really look for me, you will see me instantly. You will find me in the tiniest house of time. Kabir says: Student, tell me, What is God? God is the breath inside the breath." - Kabir

The breath, as in Kabir's words, is where the Light and divinity is found.   Sometimes we make meditation about anything other than what it is...It's not something that has to be an hour sit (or even a "sit" at all for that matter...), or even 20 minutes.  

Meditation is the act of being with ourselves and in the experience as it is, completely, for the entire space even if only for 5 breaths; without feeling the need to be anywhere else. I shared that in a class yesterday and went right into my breath where I was immediately challenged with this very example (funny how that happens...)  

Yet it's in that very moment when the choice is ours. Eckhart Tolle talks about being so totally in the present moment at any cost. I'd like to add to that that 5 breaths, really...inviting connection with 5 full and completely tuned in breaths has the ability to make such a difference in our day to day lives.

The benefits of beginning my day with calamity and honestly *choosing* joy and practicing kindness towards myself rather than making a heavy circumstance out of a choice I made, staying centered in my heart and authenticity in teaching; I feel more centered, peaceful, and kind... not only towards myself, but towards others. After writing this, I found myself having to make the best "call" in a similiar decision making situation; faced with this practice yet again... and again, I sit with peacefulness.

Lately, more than the "tricks" or in Kabir's words "not in legs winding around your own neck", this is what my *real* practice of yoga looks like...and the journey continues to reveal that it starts with myself... it starts with the decisions I make and more importantly, the self talk after making them; A lifelong journey.

It's really not about going into a cave to be initiated into mantrayana or anything else of that nature. Sometimes, just sitting and being still and meditating on the beauty of PRESENCE, right now, makes the world a better place...

LLL
Sanieh
www.saniehyoga.com

Namaste'

I've just sent out the December edition of my newsletter... (and forgot to include my upcoming Nashville Workshop dates! but that can be found on the schedule page of my website...)...

Be sure to get signed up for it by emailing me sanieh@saniehyoga.com and I will send it your way ;)

Peace and Abundant Love,
Sanieh
www.saniehyoga.com
(another entry to come soon...)

 On *Living* Yoga...

One of the greatest compliments people give me is when they tell me that I am a great hugger. I like to think of myself as a "full body contact" hugger. Recently, teacher friend and Bodhi Yoga studio owner Seane and I had a conversation about how us Yogins like to even use the knee (one of mine between yours if you can visualize it...) to really get in there and give a hug with conviction :) Something about a great hug, I tell you what! There is such power to a hug.  

While I take pride in the truth that I AM in fact an excellent hugger, I wasn't always.  

Yoga has given to me more testimonies for my life's improvement on so many levels, many to which, no one would ever know simply looking at me or even "knowing" me day in and day out.  

Way back before I was ever a yogini, I was a fitness model for ABB (American Body Building), Met Rx, and others and did a lot of magazine print work with EAS and GNC. At my peak, I was in training for a competition.   

During that time, I was completely about the exterior. How many "packs" can I get my abbs to and how do I look in a swim suite for print in such and such magazine... that's where I was and for a long time, I really enjoyed challenging myself in that way... and it IS a challenge and I have the most respect for those who actually train day in and day out as a career because it's not easy and having been married to a body builder, it sure isn't easy on those who have to put up with all the DIEting (note: there are many *maintainable* means... I am referring to the "eat, sleep, train" folks in the house who get to experience the wonderful world of "depletion" for "seasons" at a time...) While my life and lifestyle (from how I choose to work my body and mind mind, and what I choose to put into BOTH) are the most healthy and balanced they have ever been... I wasn't always.  

I've never really spoken publically on what I'm about to share here. Only recently have I even shared it with more than 2 people at one time (thank you to my Goddess Gathering Girls!). It is, however, a testimony to what yoga has done for me and perhaps even more so, a testimony to all of those women and young girls who think their beauty and self-worth rides on anything other that your truest and most beautiful HEART and SOUL and NATURE...and what you bring to the world in the way or living charitably and with an abundance of love and kindness.  

I was very young... 19 to be exact, when I made the choice to get breast implants.

Very large breast implants I might add. There were a number of reasons "why" and the world of fitness wasn't one of them because I had not arrived to it at that point. I was actually doing some work as a print model and it was shortly before I got into the world of acting (A business woman in negotiations in a Pakistani soap, The New Guy, singing on commercials on the former Warner Bro. / WB Channel... see, everyone has a story!) and there was an idea in my head that it wouldn't hurt any of that either.  

I was so impressionable at at the tender age of 19... While I had made the choice using "my mother had it done" justification, I neglected to share that she was much older and had 4 kids before hand. At 19 I was OK with my body and felt fine in my skin and looks but then there was Kevin. I remember his words to this day shortly after meeting him...  

"You're bottom heavy and one of your breasts is smaller than the other".  

OHH what I would say to the 19 year of me (or ANY other young woman!) TODAY over that comment!! Seriously.  

So 19, with beautifully (...yet still not "perfect") enhanced breasts and sliding self-esteem. Once I came to fitness and training, I gained confidence but always, I was always self conscious of those *things* in my body. The many women who I have known and loved who have had enhancement tend to love lacing up the bikini but I was always more self conscious then because I felt the stares and never felt that they were in adoration of my beauty so to speak. I got them so that they would be bigger after all, right? So why be upset when people recognize that? It's simple and it goes like this... beauty is something felt, not something seen. Beauty truly DOES come from WITHIN. There were so many people in my world at that time who *thought* I was most confident and confident in my skin. If ever I was, it never came from within.  

Back to the Hug...   

So always being self conscious of the floatation devises that kept me afloat (literally), the last thing I wanted to do was to press those girls into someone with a hug. For ME (and I stress for me because I share this as personal testimony, not as judgment for anyone Else's decisions as I know many who have chosen this path, even practitioners and teachers of yoga), even before coming to yoga, I was always so aware of them, one in particular. Over the years I had looked into (leisurely) getting them removed but soon realized it costs more to take them out then to have them put in.    

Writing this is so very surreal because over a decade later, I cannot even fathom the idea of changing my body in such a way and gasp even more so at the thought of even caring or giving any kind of weight to what someone would have to say about my body or natural proportions ... THAT makes me want to stand on a soap box preaching to a choir of young girls who by the way, when polled, 7 out 10 said they feel they are not good enough and do not measure up in some way including (but not limited to) their looks...   (Dove's report:  Real Girls, Real Pressure: National Report on the State of Self-Esteem)

Not until I was living in TN did I finally make a trip to Vanderbilt's cosmetic surgery unit to actually discuss it with a world classes surgeon. He told me, "you know you are going to be smaller than when you started pre-implants, right?". I didn't care about size at that point obviously, but no, I didn't know that. He sent me home to think about it. That was in February of 2005. The day before Thanksgiving, November 2005, I had them removed.  

Almost 9 years to the date of their implantation I had them removed, and now, almost 3 years to the date of their removal... I sit here at my humble desk feeling healthier, happier, sexier and most beautiful inside the skin of my full-body contact huggin' self.  

I realize that I have a very unique perspective on this topic because I went from having them, to not having them, at my own will without there being a *need* for their removal. I would love to tell you that I had them removed because breast cancer is in my family and that my Nana has a mastectomy and I was fearful it would be missed or harder to detect, but that's not the case.

My yoga practice gave to me body awareness...intense body awareness and over time it was impossible for me to ignore. The price I was paying feeling uncomfortable in my skin due to vanity, which in turn caused me to feel uncomfortable in my existence in self-esteem and even in the false idea of what beauty was, weighed more than any price I had to pay to remove them. My perspective through EXPERIENCE is very unique I know... but even so, I would never change the experience because its brought me to a better place of understanding and owning what beauty is and realizing on drastic levels what it is not.  

With such jaw dropping perspective (really, I can see your jaws now!) you might be wondering what I've determined beauty to be in more recent days.    

What is beauty to me today? It's having confidence in my own skin. It's not defining myself by the size of my breasts, the lines on my face, the seemingly physical imperfections of this body, or even the choices I've made that have taken me on an unpaved road to hell and back. Beauty, to me, is coming into my own, knowing who I am, sharing my truths and leading by example, loving myself as I AM in this skin, striving and working hard physically to be healthy and fit for a quality LIFE rather than anything that will fade in time or with age. Beauty to me is hearing and *knowing* that I AM a most excellent hugger because I am comfortable in my skin and because it comes from somewhere deep within my heart.  

There have been times in my teaching career where I have suggested practicing yoga on your mat naked.... alone in the privacy of your own home, please ;) You want to really get to know yourself, your body, and love it all anyway? Try shoulder stand or plow in the raw. Go ahead! I can hear some of you laughing right now (I'm smiling myself but dead serious in the suggestion, I certainly AM!)! While I feel it's so important to care for our health, wellness and physical bodies, that aside, I am talking about loving what you've got.  

Rather than avoiding what time or age has "softened", look into the mirror beyond societies idea of beauty, perfection, and glamour... look into what lies beneath your surface, it's only your shell. Let your beauty shine through your skin... that's what people see in the end. That's what sustains. That is what beauty really is.

Blissful, bountiful, and beautifully yours,
Sanieh
www.saniehyoga.com

Photo: From the Grand Opening Festivities of Lululemon Athletica in Austin,TX... Chelsea, Myself, and Bekha

As I'm posting this, I am hearing the news of the highly coordinated Terrorist attacks in Mumbai, India...healing and prayers to all involved.

"Everyday Thanksgiving" from my latest newsletter...

Wave Rider - Sanieh Yoga News 
December Edition

Everyday Thanksgiving
Namaskaram!
 
It seems like last week when I found myself driving across the state line returning to Austin to begin a whole new chapter in my life fulfilling my dream of teaching yoga full time as I reconnected and started anew in the beautiful Austin, Texas. I spent that drive studying the Hanuman Chalisa on CD in Hindi and listening to a very special song over and over again that was gifted to me on the very day I drove out of Nashville to head to my place of "harmony" by a woman who spent a lot of time helping to pull me out of the darkest place I had ever found myself in.

Now that I have been here nearing a year and a half, I am finally, for the first time in almost 6 years, starting to feel rooted, grounded and most beautifully; connected. I am grateful for perspective not only in hindsight, but also for perspective in the whirling winds of the storms that this precious experience has brought into my crazy-beautiful life.
 
I am grateful, so very grateful that I GET to use my hands to bring a little joy, peace, and equanimity to the lives of those who have chosen to share so generously, their own with mine. I am so grateful for your loving words, emails, sweat, hugs. laughter, tears, encouragement, respect, and faithfullness and I am so very grateful for your dedication that has in turn, put me in the most auspicious seat of the student more than anything else has in my life.
 
My heart is full of love for each and every one of you and I feel yours in return (even when it hurts while we "tremble for God(dess)" in our puddles of nectar dripping from our hairline, core, shoulders, and eyelids... I bow to you all. You have taught and continue to teach me more about myself, life, and co-existing in the world more than I could ever express.
 
This world of living yoga has truly "brough me back to life" and because of inspiration from all of you, I bring this living yoga with me everywhere I go...
 
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GP5gWbyuXrs

LoveLoveLove,
Sanieh
www.saniehyoga.com