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Yoga
October 2009 
PART 2- Grace
Posted on May 20th, 2008
by 
Sanieh
Sanieh
Late last night I received a text from a friend that said the following:
"It appears that the notion of body, mind, and soul existing holistically as "one" is being well represented in this experience for you".
My friend was right on when he mentioned that the spiritual, emotional, and psychological affect this experience is having on me is an obvious one and that has got me thinking deeply. I was challenged during my first class this morning, as in this representation, because I felt off...furthermore I was having difficulty in digesting the idea that my transmission was as such. Funny, sometimes teachers can carry a lot of guilt over this kind of thing... Initially this experience was a physical body thing...
I went in to teach my second class tonight where I found myself in the bathroom changing the dressings of my wound and behind the tears I searched for understanding of what had me so shaken and upset. afterall, Physically, I'm pretty well off although there are some limitations. I "pondered" back to what my friend said about about the body, mind, and soul existing as one and I began to soften into what I was feeling; finding more "sense" in feeling so off kilter. ahh ha moment...
Sometimes a good cry makes all the difference.
At the top of my next class, I paused and shared an experience I had with a teacher once who went into very personal details of his life experience at the start of a workshop, with hopes that we would understand the space from which he would navigate the weekend. I tried to honestly convey to this class that our practice isn't always about the body and if it is, that too will change... if not by conscious choice, then sadly, one day, by force. Be it injury, or death.
Which brings me to impermanence...
One of the most amazing and memorable documentaries I have ever watched was "Fierce Grace" by Ram Dass. Throughout the entire film Ram Dass says "I've been stroked" in reference to the grace he had been given. The name of the documentary rings strongly in my ear at the moment because in less than 48 hours, after an accident that has shaken me to my core far deeper than any damages or possible scarring that might be left of my physical body; all that I can sit with is the reminder that it's all impermanent and that having grace throughout this life is the strength of what my practice is becoming- being one with the SHAKTI... perhaps by force of this event, or perhaps by the GRACE of.
In my confusion beneath the search for understanding the message and lesson, I sit within myself a little softer, feeling more feminine, and yes, with much more grace than I embodied even Sunday morning. Although I really don't know if any of this is making sense to any reader out there or if I'm connecting anyone on that spiritual level, there is a shift unfolding and perhaps THAT was the intent for me to take from this experience.
My /our practice is not my/our body, my being a teacher even, is not this body. The strength of my love is not this body and my soul is not this body. So now I move into the advanced practice that is defining grace and teaching it ...through becoming it.
"Impatient with grace, we pray faster" -by Steven Levine
(excerpt)
Some see grace as their destination, other as their process. Both however often share the trap of wanting to "go faster than grace".
Born into a life in which we own nothing, yet love none-the-less, we become attached to so much then decompose when what we never owned departs.
Though we may be hard in sorrow, unable to discern our face in the mirror, pained as we may be, that does not alter the fact that behind who we think we see
Grace is our original face.
With lovelovelove and Bhakti; devotion to that love...
Sanieh
www.saniehyoga.com
"It appears that the notion of body, mind, and soul existing holistically as "one" is being well represented in this experience for you".
My friend was right on when he mentioned that the spiritual, emotional, and psychological affect this experience is having on me is an obvious one and that has got me thinking deeply. I was challenged during my first class this morning, as in this representation, because I felt off...furthermore I was having difficulty in digesting the idea that my transmission was as such. Funny, sometimes teachers can carry a lot of guilt over this kind of thing... Initially this experience was a physical body thing...
I went in to teach my second class tonight where I found myself in the bathroom changing the dressings of my wound and behind the tears I searched for understanding of what had me so shaken and upset. afterall, Physically, I'm pretty well off although there are some limitations. I "pondered" back to what my friend said about about the body, mind, and soul existing as one and I began to soften into what I was feeling; finding more "sense" in feeling so off kilter. ahh ha moment...
Sometimes a good cry makes all the difference.
At the top of my next class, I paused and shared an experience I had with a teacher once who went into very personal details of his life experience at the start of a workshop, with hopes that we would understand the space from which he would navigate the weekend. I tried to honestly convey to this class that our practice isn't always about the body and if it is, that too will change... if not by conscious choice, then sadly, one day, by force. Be it injury, or death.
Which brings me to impermanence...
One of the most amazing and memorable documentaries I have ever watched was "Fierce Grace" by Ram Dass. Throughout the entire film Ram Dass says "I've been stroked" in reference to the grace he had been given. The name of the documentary rings strongly in my ear at the moment because in less than 48 hours, after an accident that has shaken me to my core far deeper than any damages or possible scarring that might be left of my physical body; all that I can sit with is the reminder that it's all impermanent and that having grace throughout this life is the strength of what my practice is becoming- being one with the SHAKTI... perhaps by force of this event, or perhaps by the GRACE of.
In my confusion beneath the search for understanding the message and lesson, I sit within myself a little softer, feeling more feminine, and yes, with much more grace than I embodied even Sunday morning. Although I really don't know if any of this is making sense to any reader out there or if I'm connecting anyone on that spiritual level, there is a shift unfolding and perhaps THAT was the intent for me to take from this experience.
My /our practice is not my/our body, my being a teacher even, is not this body. The strength of my love is not this body and my soul is not this body. So now I move into the advanced practice that is defining grace and teaching it ...through becoming it.
"Impatient with grace, we pray faster" -by Steven Levine
(excerpt)
Some see grace as their destination, other as their process. Both however often share the trap of wanting to "go faster than grace".
Born into a life in which we own nothing, yet love none-the-less, we become attached to so much then decompose when what we never owned departs.
Though we may be hard in sorrow, unable to discern our face in the mirror, pained as we may be, that does not alter the fact that behind who we think we see
Grace is our original face.
With lovelovelove and Bhakti; devotion to that love...
Sanieh
www.saniehyoga.com
Access: Public
From my own recent and very similar experience with accidents and injury I was reminded of a couple of things as I too searched for meaning and grace. The strongest message was we are here to experience and express love in all circumstances. It is so easy to forget that and yet in all actuality this would seem to be our only imperative as souls sharing a human expression. As I struggled with things as simple as driving, openning doors, carrying groceries, or yoga, I became more and more aware of not so much of what I had lost but of what I had gained. Experiencing the kindness and compassion of others as they reached out not simply to aid me in my physical limitations but to also assist me in my own process of healing turned out to be both a gift and a blessing. It was in this space I truly exprienced the connection we all have to one another because I grew more in touch with the loving space I was holding for each and everyone who assisted me as well.
Somewhere I read that without our connection to the truth that is love, “it is our body and our mind that suffers…. The soul lays in complete repose throughout eternity.” From my experience I was reminded to listen to that peaceful loving soul and as you say so often, just “lovelovelove…”
Blessings and namaste…