Ahh just got home a fun day in San Antonio :)

San Antonio was a blast and I tell you what, Yoga In Motion (http://www.yogainmotionsa.com/) is one of the most beautiful and special studios I've EVER been to.

It's so beautiful and unique with such a warm and meditative feeling... I will leave it to you to make the road trip sometime and experience the space for yourself. We worked very slowly but went deep into our hips in many variations. I brought to the studio a little Shakti Bhakti as well, and with the exception of my guitar being HORRIBLY out of tune to which I wanted to stop because it was so painful for me (hoping most people didn't notice-if you aren't really musical, you may very well not have...) but I had built that song up from a very personal and painful story in my life that brought me to the "Light". Quickly and sadly if I'm being honest (because I had more with the guitar, but it hurt so badly!lol), I put the acoustic down and picked up my shruti box which always brings out the inner meditator. I was moved, so moved, to hear the voices singing and chanting along with me...  

I have to say THANK YOU to my sweet new fried and sister, Effie, who I have such a soul connection to, for having me and to the many students of the San Antonio tride there. Often in these situations I get ahead of myself in excitement and skip one of the most important parts and that's hearing your beautiful names... so next time (Effie mentioned, September, we will get together on that soon) I already have a plan for this :)    

In addition, I would like to share that it says SO much about Effie and what her and the other teacher's there have built, in being witness to the expressions, gratitude, and excitement of those who shared their practice there with me-with us all. I humbly bow to you all in thanks. :X  

Well I got in later than I had initially thought I would so I missed a new class I planned to attend. No worries, I pulled into the park on 4th a Guadalupe where there were ALL kinds of events going on down town... I didn't even grab my mat...just my sunglasses and purse and I found a comfy place (after posting a "tweet" on www.twitter.com/saniehyoga about it in case anyone wanted to through down some PDY *public display of yoga* with me :) and after about 3 or so min of folding in half and feeling down dog, I found myself upright opening my heart in standing drop backs and coming back up... for about 15 min. straight :) Sometimes, a good, mindful heart opener is most healing, most profound and what MATTERS most. I felt fantastic breathing in the fresh air, standing with my feet in the grass, and allowing myself to open up in preparation to receive that which my heart so freely and lovingly gives...nature is always so  healing and grounding to me.  

So now I'm home. I'm home and just unwinding a bit before going to my patio to check on my new herbs of basil, mint, thyme and my lavender plant :) They are like my new babies that I get to nurture. The most thoughtful and greatest gift (thank you) I could have been given...  

What else... oh I got an email about my new website so now that I'm on my desk top, I should check that :) Still haven't opened the Face book account yet (Sorry Michelle!) but I will ... since I'm re-doing the website, I want to do it all at once... but my Tweetin' twitter is up... oh, already mentioned that above... here it is again... :) www.twitter.com/saniehyoga in case you missed it :)

Well I've got a few events coming up and the new Summer Texas Yoga Retreat http://www.texasyoga.com/schedule.htm is one of them on Saturday June 13th  and on June 14, I've teamed up with Lululemon Austin to do a "Shock your Body, Rock your Body, Sizzlin' Summer Bash" with 3 of your favorite Austin Ambassadors :) ... (more to come that will be updated on my website and in my newsletter very soon)

lovelovelove,
Sanieh
http://www.saniehyoga.com/

Oh it's been an interesting week with lots of schedule changes and more... it's Thursday evening and I'm getting my home clean and ready for my home class tomorrow morning then I'm off... somewhere between Austin and Houston (guess I should look into that sooner than later!) to teach a few classes at Charles' annual Mother's Day retreat. It will be a nourishing weekend of mind-mapping, meditation and yoga... lots of Hammock yoga for me and breathing room to catch up and get re-aligned.  

I've got a few things that are sure to make their way to this blog but for now, I need to get back to getting my sacred space clean, water my plant and herb babies and get a few more things together for this 2 hour drive and somehow make sure I don't forget my guitar and shruti box in the craziness of it all!  

***(Before I forget... keep your eyes open for a FREE wild and crazy jam I've been organizing that will be a "Rock your body, Shock your body" Crossfit, Sanieh Yoga, and Cardio kickbox tri jam to take place Sunday June 14th at Lululemon... I am also teaching at the Texas Yoga Retreat at the Hindu Ashram Saturday Afternoon and Evening June 13th... lots of exciting things coming up (and I can't wait to talk about the "low low" things soon!)...***  

I'll be driving down with sweet "high priestess", Noelle and she and I will go pick up the sweet "Prema Momma" Gale at the airport and make the trek where we will meet Noelle's mom. It will be an easy weekend honoring the space of mothers everywhere... this Mother's Day and this coming Wed May 13th mark a very pivital anniversary for me personally that I will share more about after I return.  

I'm feeling the need to get as low to the Earth as humanly possible right now... on cool soil or grass preferably. :)   My Muladhara is calling me...  

In the words of Dave Stringer...
Big Love,
Sanieh
http://www.saniehyoga.com/
www.twitter.com/saniehyoga

Pic- A face of grace. My mother on her high school graduation day. Beautiful indeed.  


It was 15 years ago today that a knock at my front door dissolved a family and forever change my life.  

"I'm afraid she didn't make it".  

In that moment and over the next few hours, I was witness to my oldest brother falling fetal position in the hallway, the anger on my younger brother's face, the confusion of my other brother as well as my own life threatening suffocation.  

Over the next few days, at 17 years young, I spent my time planning my mother's funeral service from start to finish; where I stood up and spoke the only way a traumatized daughter could, standing in front of a packed room full of people in their own grief. To say that I was lost would be an understatement. To say I was saddened would be delicate compared to what would leave me paralyzed, terrified, and eventually on a path of destruction over the next several years to come.  

In a single sentence, the only light I had ever known, along with my entire existence, felt completely extinguished.  

15 YEAR LATER

From a lost, smart mouthed teen, to a strong, independent, giving and loving woman living with purpose and making a difference...here I stand today...and I'm alright now.  

I have many, many testimonies to yoga; this is an example of how living, teaching, and being a student of yoga has literally saved my soul and my life.  

Dissolution, I'm learning, has been a struggling teacher to me for years and while it's taken some time, I understand this now. I understand how a young woman who died in her soul long ago, at 17 and alone, had to experience this part of the "sequence" in order to stand where I so gratefully, (and in my the fashion of my mother...) and gracefully stand today.  

I'm so thankful.  

Always a student.
Forever a daughter.  

"All that I am or hope to become, I owe to my angel mother." Abraham Lincoln

lovelovelove,
Sanieh
http://www.saniehyoga.com/
www.twitter.com/saniehyoga

I'm finding myself becoming attracted to activities that challenge my mind. In my personal experience, it's usually through the physical, that initiates a journey that I'm not mentally prepared for. Perspective; it's so interesting. I can "yoga" with the best of them yet I know extreme athletes that would consider that extreme *suffering* any way its sliced but could smoke me with their "discipline". It's all a discipline you see (thanks, Jeff!) ... this is where I'm headed with all of this. For me, however, it's all a discipline of yoga...though its many or shall I say *any* form.  

I recently shared the story in class about my new endeavor of running. I don't run far or fast (again perspective... about 3.2 miles in 36-37 min) but I'm not interested in much in this way beside eventually increasing the duration of the run (which ends of being distance etc) but more so, I'm interested in shifting the self talk and preconceived notions of belief and limiting barriers placed on and within myself.  

I shared the story of running at Town Lake and how I found myself wanting to stop. So I said to myself and to my friend out loud "not until I can determine what *part* of my body *needs* to stop, am I going to stop". That statement was never about the "no pain no gain" physical mentality, I'm a yogini for goodness sakes... which MEANS I AM about putting myself in a position of pain but in the respect of creating *mental* "pain" or discomfort in an effort to challenge myself and break through the samskaras, or habitual patterns of thoughts and beliefs that have made a home in my body and with the thinker.  

So I was running and scanned my body from head to toe, noticing my tiring legs, the pressure under my right rib cage, even the little twinge in my left shoulder but none of these things were impairing the run... so in that moment I said to myself "if I cannot determine what part of this body needs to stop and why, then I am going to keep on keepin' on because I know it's nothing more than the mind"... and I know the body will simply follow the mind.  

I've explored running a tiny tiny bit and that was 9 or 10 years ago. Recently, I ran farther than I had since then by using this self-prescribed method that actually came to me *during* a run. So as I enter into one of my own *Transmission Yoga Programs*, I am incorporating other areas of disciplines to deepen self study, meditation and one pointed attention thus tapping deeper into my creative juices of possibilites and the power Chakra, Manipura. Disciplines that to a degree seem impossible to me, unreasonable on many levels, make me uncomfortable and perhaps most important, those that scare me.  

Why would I do this? Because it's not just about the body.

Lets b honest...Do I want to look, feel and continue to BE healthy- absolultely. FULL HEALTH, is also that of the mind, heart and well-being though.

This is my reason for the run. Because it use to be so difficult for me to pick up these legs in THIS way and run. It's also the reason I do some cross fit (Big FREE event coming up June 14th at Lululemon with Crossfit, Yoga and Cardio Kickbox- total time is just 1 hour (20 min each- you can do ANYTHING for 20 minutes!) - please come out and have some fun and support this event I'm putting on with Lululemon!). I'm not interested in competing with anyone else, what I'm interested in is competing with the thinking part of my mind that has created illusions and limitations that ultimately do not serve any one of us. In those workouts of the day (WOD) that have me thinking "I can't do this", that I actually can and I don't give a damn if I finish last or where my numbers or time fall on that white board even, what I care about is putting myself in the position, having the *courage* to put myself in a position of walking into the proverbial fire of sorts and facing what I fear... and I fear it because of the self talk, the thinking and limiting mind, that convinces us at times that we don't have what it takes, that we're not good enough on whatever etc.    

If I was writing this post 10 years ago, it would have been very much so about all things external- I was training hard physically and trying to look the part and was even successful at it... but then I was broken down. Today, while I it does feel good to make it into that crazy twisted and inverted arm balance on my mat preparing for the next photo shoot, or complete that run at Town Lake knowing I wanted to stop mentally but did not, or having finished the 10 rounds/sets of kettle bell thrusters to burpee-box jumps for 10, 9, 8, 7,6, 5, 4, 3, 2, then 1 sets in under 21 minutes, it's just not about THAT to me. It's about taking one step closer into union with with my highest potential, practicing what I'm preaching with this way of life that IS *living* yoga and stepping right into self study in the form of fear, facing that very things I don't think I can do.  

It doesn't stop here. This is where what we call in yoga "practice", begins...  

all Love
Sanieh
www.saniehyoga.com
www.twitter.com/saniehyoga
(Facebook coming soon)

There WILL be noise...
There WILL be sweat...
We WILL collapse in the end of it all.

Yoga Trance Dance.
Friday Night.
Be There.

http://yogayoga.com/events#YogaTranceDancewithS

www.saniehyoga.com

Okay already. O-KAY.

The last 7-10 days have been absolutely crazy in the world of what has seemed to be "the seventh ring of hell" (thanks for the expression, B!) that is my thinking mind.

I've come into intimate connection with areas in my life that need un-doing so that I can weave a new blanket so to speak.
"Everything must change" I kept saying to myself. "See all of these areas where I am moving from a place of expectation and doing/being/saying/living in a way that is inspired from all that I think is expected of me or all that I think people *think* I should be etc. (can you see where this could go...?) Come back to my own authenticity, my own heart."

This is was my day in a very tight nutshell...

*wake up late, feeling like, well, like hell.
*almost talk myself out of my commitment to attending Cross Fit today at 10 as part of my "transmission yoga" TM program sadhana (email me if you are curious...) but found my gusto, thank goodness
*240 lunges later (and them some...) I wobbled to teach a sweet class at 12 noon
*headed to meeting with Michelle for website offering revamp and get pinged... 15 min later, I'm in debt to Travis county $200 to which the super nice officer hands me the unattractive ticket as he suggests driver's safety saving me some money but costing me half a day in exchange.
*meet Michelle, who is the best sight of my entire day- to go over website stuff even though we both have computer issues
*meanwhile pending important and sensitive phone conversation with friend that's been lingering for a few days and that anticipation is building...
*meeting ends, phone conversation had... the day is looking up
*head to Yoga Vida 707 where my lululemon friends crash the party and surprise me with their presence and I get to meet more new people at this special new class
*I'm surprised with a beautiful orchid from Sweet Jeff who read my "15 years later" blog and wanted to acknowledge
*Surprised again with a note card from Lulu friends "Why Lululemon loves Sanieh" comments that bring tears that I fight back because there are new people in my class and I need not let my crazy out of the jar just yet ;)
*Class ends, we end standing, I break out in song that I can barely sing because it's been so damn long but I'm a sensitive love junky like that so it is what it is :)
*head to Lulu to get my run pants, see friends when another sweet man crosses my path and tells me "I just hit your car".

oh for F%&#$ sake!!!!!!

I swear to you I thought he/they were kidding. I think I sort of laughed even so. It's so perfect. Yes, I mean that. It's SO perfect...

"OKAY ALREADY. I'm LI-STEN-ING!!!!!!"

This is what I've come to.

Life speaks.

Our life speaks to us. It's not about the effing ticket or the perfectly happy driver side door I had or anything else... it's the big picture. I am a firm believer that we have nudges (how I was feeling pending important phone conversation), then we have little pushes ($200 ticket from a sweet, but not too sweet law authority), then an elbow into the jaw ("I'm so sorry for backing into your car"), and then there's a freaking BRICK that falls on the head... so at this point, I'm choosing to surrender and spare myself the brick to head. It's not about the car, the ticket, the conversation...

OF COURSE my car was hit. It's so whack and perfect at the same time.

What is life trying to tell you right now?
What are you resisting?
If you pray for patience, you're most likely going to find yourself in a traffic jam.
"Here ya go, here's your teacher", life says.

Through all of this... there are sprinkles of love and light. Seeing Michelle's face and acknowledging her hard work and time in this project of mine and seeing her eyes fill up having received my gratitude.

Feeling more connected to my friend after heart to heart conversation that could have gone in any direction.

A thoughtful offering Orchid from someone who cares.

A reminder of that I am loved by those who I have invested time and energy into , who have in return, invest time and energy into me.

It's not all car wrecks and tickets... but it takes car wrecks and tickets (and super sweet and kind people to serve me the information of them) to recognize how great I have it.

So here I am, undoing everything I've made it about in all of it's "effed-up-ness"... undoing the thread and coming back with needle and yarn of my own color choices in hand to sew a new sheath that most authentically represents the love and beauty, the light and liberation, and all of the glory that I dream of becoming...all that awaits the ascension to my highest potential...

Today, I bow to all of my teachers in their many forms.
LoveLoveLove,
sanieh
www.saniehyoga.com
www.twitter.com/saniehyoga

It's an interesting place to be, being a yoga teacher at times. I believe it's part of what we signed onto when we decided to teach, that we would put ourselves out there sharing intimate parts of our life experiences to make ourselves more touchable, real and authentic.  

In this gift, I have found that there are parts of my life that I have to hold close and keep for myself because so much is exposed; by choice; but there always has to be parts that we keep for our own knowing. I don't mean any tangible "thing" or experience necessarily although maybe; sometimes it's more about pulling our energies back in when it's potentially being compromised or abused...or simply when it's time appropriate for any other number of reasons.  

It's a juggle though sometimes because I cannot imagine doing what I do without exposing myself to a degree. While people only really know of us what we choose to share with them, To ME, it's the only way the "job" can be done. Although it's seldom, VERY seldom, I was once criticized after a workshop for sharing personal experiences of my life that seem to make a select few uncomfortable. What I have to say about that is this:  

Anyone can study or even memorize a book. Anyone can use the jargon and "play the part". That doesn't make it real though. Whatever "it" is. If going out there and sharing the only TRUE thing that we can share as teachers (teachers of *anything* since we are all teachers in one way or another) makes people feel uncomfortable then my suggestion to those people is to take a long hard look into the mirror. We can authentically teach only that which we have experienced ourselves...and even so we have to choose to teach it from the seat of truth. We cannot teach of a journey we have not travelled. The guru reveals itself to us all in many different ways and is seen through life experiences defined by much more than age, race, sex, or anything else.   On the other side of exposure, there are boundaries. If drawing boundaries makes people uncomfortable or upset, then the same goes... there's got to be balance and in balance exist boundaries.  

This is what I'm referring to when I talk about pulling the energy back in. On one hand, (for just a second albeit), I think to myself "but I'm suppose to give and be open and share the love etc"... but then I come to my senses and say "yes, of COURSE...AND not only do I need to replenish and restore my energies, I need to be aware of when to protect them when I feel as though lines are getting blurred, or space/time constraints maybe aren't being honored or unknowingly disrespected etc."   

I actually love to spend time in solitude for this reason. I have no problem being with myself but more so, it's a way for me to refuel and to check in with my own energy...that which began with myself and also the energy that I might have "collected" along the path that I need to drop off. There are probably a few things I enjoy doing with my time that most do not know about me because that's part of what I keep in for myself. I'm going to Venice Beach next weekend for this very reason... it will be the first time I've ever been there without my days being planned for a training or to assist a training. It's decompression and reconnection with source as *I* know it through nature, constant outdoor walking, swimming in the ocean and being in the heart beat of a community that I have no expectation of who has no expectation of me. Escapism? No. Rejuvenation and contemplation? Absolutely.   

Moving on...  

So here I sit Friday night... 9pm and what a productive days its been! 2 classes done with by 1030 am, drove to the shop and scheduled car repairs (sadly not until an opening was available JULY20th!!!), dropped off a few things for a few people, picked up a few things from a few people/places (gosh, sounds so shady and mysterious like some sort of drug exchange or something...HA!)...

...More like cookies, fresh basil and thyme, skin cream and "regular" non-yoga clothes on sale :) lunch at Galaxy Cafe (SO good!), yoga with my sweet teacher friend Andrew at the beautiful Yoga Vida 707 this afternoon, Lululemon drive by to see new promotional blow up pics they've put up in the window :)), then whole foods for dinner! Gosh, I'm exhausted just writing it all reliving it!  

What I *didn't* do that I intended on doing includes but is not limited to breaking down and getting a Costco card, hair trim, Lululemon return, (surely there's more...?)...  

Tomorrow night is ladies night out for something wild and crazy like a chick flick ;) I'm pleased to be a passenger on that ride... just awaiting the details :) Tomorrow morning might look like yoga, maybe a run on town lake and if I'm really feeling the gusto, maybe I'll attend the cross fit free community workout as well. We will see how (and when) I feel when I wake up!  

Bowing to the blessing of being...on this beautiful Austin evening
All Love,
Sanieh
http://www.saniehyoga.com/