15 Years Later...

Pic- A face of grace. My mother on her high school graduation day. Beautiful indeed.  


It was 15 years ago today that a knock at my front door dissolved a family and forever change my life.  

"I'm afraid she didn't make it".  

In that moment and over the next few hours, I was witness to my oldest brother falling fetal position in the hallway, the anger on my younger brother's face, the confusion of my other brother as well as my own life threatening suffocation.  

Over the next few days, at 17 years young, I spent my time planning my mother's funeral service from start to finish; where I stood up and spoke the only way a traumatized daughter could, standing in front of a packed room full of people in their own grief. To say that I was lost would be an understatement. To say I was saddened would be delicate compared to what would leave me paralyzed, terrified, and eventually on a path of destruction over the next several years to come.  

In a single sentence, the only light I had ever known, along with my entire existence, felt completely extinguished.  

15 YEAR LATER

From a lost, smart mouthed teen, to a strong, independent, giving and loving woman living with purpose and making a difference...here I stand today...and I'm alright now.  

I have many, many testimonies to yoga; this is an example of how living, teaching, and being a student of yoga has literally saved my soul and my life.  

Dissolution, I'm learning, has been a struggling teacher to me for years and while it's taken some time, I understand this now. I understand how a young woman who died in her soul long ago, at 17 and alone, had to experience this part of the "sequence" in order to stand where I so gratefully, (and in my the fashion of my mother...) and gracefully stand today.  

I'm so thankful.  

Always a student.
Forever a daughter.  

"All that I am or hope to become, I owe to my angel mother." Abraham Lincoln

lovelovelove,
Sanieh
http://www.saniehyoga.com/
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