(photo: In Kerala, India March 2009...such a kind yet powerful creature...please note that they are considerably kind (they worship them) to Elephants in India than in the US... the chains are there to keep Ganesha grounded as means of safety...))

...This is what the Bhagavad Gita teaches us (which was one of 3 possessions Gandhi owned at the time of his death if I remember correctly).  

I forgot this for a moment today when I stopped and brought my entire energies back into my own noisy internal world as I decided that "taking a nap" to escape what's real and dwell in what's only "mind stuff" was the answer. Yoga teaches us that it's OK to stop, it's OK to fall and it's OK to shut down for a moment.... so long as we can step outside of ourselves in terms of this body and this thinker and remember that whatever it is that brings us to this place is not what defines our essence. I have a permanent reminder that I am not what I feel or think and that yesterday is gone, tomorrow is an illusion and that today, the PRESENT, is where I need to be and keep my energies. It's OK to feel... it's not ok to define ourselves what what we feel or think. The only thing permanent is impermanence.  

Just like venturing into arm balances on the mat, Even when we fall, we first had to take a step and for some, we even jumped. As a RESULT of movement rather than being STATIC, we fell. With bringing yoga to every aspect of our lives we see this more clearly over time and we get up faster, become more forgiving and patience with ourselves and as a result, with other people and the world around us.    

On an entirely different level than you intended with your email, Thanks Keith W., for the angelic and auspicious reminder that I needed today.    

"On this Path no effort is ever wasted, no gain is ever reversed" - Bhagavad Gita lovelovelove,
sanieh
http://www.saniehyoga.com/
www.twitter.com/saniehyoga
www.facebook.com/saniehyoga

(Photo- Loved this sign outside of a health food store in the Seminyak village in Bali, Indonesia) 

sit here in a new home, with a new schedule, new intentions and new goals. With this, I sit here with new and fresh disappointments as well as a full heart with a new found peace and a deeper sense of love and light within myself.

I remember days in what seems to be a life that was not so well lived, a lifetime ago; a young girl, so lost and without a sense of wonder for anything, and it's most humbling to be in this same "medium", in this same body and feel more radiant, more blessed, healthier and with a much stronger sense of purpose than I could have ever imagined back then.

I'm more accepting of my "humanness" today. I'm not free of discomforts, or self defeating thoughts 100% of the time, but I AM free.

I'm free from myself; out of captivity of my thinker and when I start to walk back into that coffin, I am reminded that I hold the key. I am reminded, as the Tao teaches, "If you wish to free yourself from the cage, you must die while you are alive". I have never forgotten this over the years since it's so clear that it means I have to die to MYSELF... to my habits, ways of thinking, and everything else.

Yoga teaches me that at the end of every day, I have to die to myself, again and again... if I want to WAKE UP; if I want to become stronger, more evolved and more beautiful in my soul than I was before. Yoga teaches me that I am radiant even when I forget it; and when I *do* forget, I step into this temple that is my body, my body in asana, my body in difficulty, and right into the the manas puja; or the divine shrine of my heart, and I remember that I can look out at everyone, everything, at YOU; and see myself.

I am whole.
I am full.
I am radiant.
I am beautiful.
I am blessed.
I am encouraged.
I am supported.
I am love.
I am with depth.
I am. I just AM.

all Love.
Sanieh
www.saniehyoga.com
facebook.com/saniehyoga
twitter.com/saniehyoga

Sometimes I see so clearly where I have grown in my spiritual practice and sometimes I am forced to see just where I need to take a little extra time and sit. These days, I am mostly trying to find compassion and forgiveness for my foul ups along the way while remembering that its all part of it.   

Every so often I write about "a seekers mishaps" on this path that is not pleasing to myself and today is one of those days. I acted in a way that did not sit well with me, a few times actually, and in a way that made me feel shameful and defeated in spirit because of it...even if for a moment. I acted in a way that lacked my deepest and genuine ability to move from kindness and patience while walking into the situation without understanding and forgiveness up front despite how legit the issue at hand may have been. Whether or not anyone else viewed what I experienced *in myself* the same way or not, I am still left feeling "less than" because I acted in a way that was not aligned with my spiritual intentions. I could have easily moved from a different place had I paused and realized that everything was magnified due to the collective of things happening at once. Not necessarily bad, just the overwhelming aspect of it all.  

My experience teaches me that we must free ourselves in voice, in guilt, in creativity, in pleasure, in love .. in all ways and when I'm teaching I often share why I am a fan of an open mouth exhalation. This is part of the reason why. I share this because I think its easy for yoga teachers to get wrapped up being raised up or put on a level that isn't real. The truth is, every one of us has to look at ourselves long and hard at some point. It's called Sva Yaya or self study and it's part of the 8 fold path. Yoga is my Dharma... it does ME; therefore I practice this often and it "ain't" always pretty! I realize that dissolution must happen before recreation though... OM Namah Shivaya!  

Sengstan wrote "Do not seek perfection in a changing world. Instead, perfect your love."  

I love this. It's perfect because we can use it as compassion for ourselves. Instead of seeking perfection, it's always about progress because perfection doesn't exist in that light. If we perfect our LOVE, which is all encompassing with compassion, grace, loyalty, forgiveness etc, then we learn to offer ourselves the "compassion mudra" and move on.  

It's true that yoga teaches us to get in touch with our sensitivity. I came out of the womb that way so for me its really about turning on the intuitive side of that sensitivity and keeping aligned with it. Part of my development of this is that I am so very in touch with the biofeedback of my body, belly brain and heart teacher so the signals are there INSIDE when I don't "do well". Just as we can become addicted to the search for bliss on the mat or in life, sometimes we can hold onto the crud a little too long also.

This is my yoga for today... To let go of my attachment to what I didn't do well and to follow through with my resolution I posted on FB last night : 

Tonight I resolve to love, light up, let go, live, laugh, love some more, *let* love, move intelligently and fluidly within my choices and the unchosen, brew, STEEP, become more and more potent in my SoUl, BreaK the bubble, bREAk the mold, driiiiip with fullness, ooooze with passion and tenacity, love the mystery, embrace my sensuality, own my dharma, and vow to do it all WELL and over and over and over...  

To letting Go, finding forgiveness for ourselves, and moving on.

With Gratitude and an open, self-forgiving heart,
Sanieh
http://www.saniehyoga.com/
www.facebook.com/saniehyoga
www.twitter.com/saniehyoga (for real time updates/class substitutions and random musings)